A Letter To Those That Miss The Old Me

Have you had others (family and friends) try to keep you stuck in an old version of yourself?  I know I am not alone in this.  It is like they do everything in their power to remind you (beat into you) the way you use to be. These individuals will not acknowledge the growth and changes you have gone through.  It seems impossible for them to grasp the concept that the version of you they are pushing is dead and gone. 

This has happened to me quite a bit recently and I have done my best to address it by informing them that person is dead.  Inviting those that cannot see who I have become to get to know the new me, the person I have fought so hard to become. Most, if not all, of my attempts have fallen short or met with forceful resistance.  Their reaction made me take a step back and pause.  

I could not grasp the mindset that those that should be in my corner and encourage/support my growth cannot do so.  I briefly thought to myself how can this be. It is my desire and prayer that those I care for (and those I do not even know) to grow and evolve.  I want anyone and everyone to continually strive & do better. 

I mentioned that I briefly pondered this thought because I quickly realized that not everyone is capable of such thinking. I also realized this was not the first time I have faced this reaction and it will not be the last.  So to spend time agonizing over it seemed futile.  I understand that in the end I have to stay true to myself and if others refuse to give me the space & grace to grow all I can do is keep moving.

The one thing I felt lead to do is write this letter to those that will miss the old me.  By writing this it is not my intention to get anyone to change their mind.  My intention is to first set the record straight to those that refuse to get to know who I am today.  Not with any malicious intent, but to state one time only that the version of me that you want to hold on so tightly to is gone.  This is a goodbye letter to her and to those that can’t move along with me on my journey.  My intent is to also give others that are in my position the same opportunity.  Write a goodbye letter of your own if you feel lead. 

So to those that tell me “I miss the old you,” but refuse to give new me a chance I say goodbye.  I have nothing but love & respect for you.  I thank you for the part each of you played in my journey up until now.  Truth be told you each played a part in making me who I am today.  For that I will be forever grateful.  I wish you all the best and hope for only blessings for you in the future. 

We must part ways at this time.  It is my prayer that in time you grow to see why I must do this.  You see I cannot afford to loose who I have fought so hard to become during this season.  My journey has lead me to a version of myself I did not know existed. To list all the ways I have grown is not necessary at this point. I have done my best to show you who I have become to only be met with resistance.  It seems to me that you are more worried about who I was  when you should be more curious of who I am becoming. 

What I have gained is necessary for what God has next for me.  The self confidence, self respect, resilience, and better relationships cannot and should not be thrown away.  I need these skills to help the people that need me. Those that God has called me to help.  You see my purpose and gifts have been manifested.  And our gifts are not meant to just flow to us, but THROUGH us. That means I owe it to myself and those that I am meant to help.  And that means that version of who I use to be must be left behind (as well as anyone/anything tied to it.) 

Again, thank you all for the role you played to make me who I am today.  I wish you well and pray you have nothing but success in your future. For those of you who are in my life, I truly appreciate all of you. I I’ve loved getting to know you, and I can’t wait to grow and expand together. For those of you who are beginning to enter my life, I’m excited to know you.  All I ask is that you don’t take me for the small amounts you know of me, or whatever others are saying (even if it is great).