Are You Buried or Are You Planted?

There comes a moment in life when everything can feel dark, heavy, and uncertain.

A moment when you question where you are… why things feel so hard… and whether life has somehow pushed you down instead of lifted you up.

You may look around and wonder:

“Why am I here?”
“Why does it feel like nothing is moving?”
“Why do I feel stuck when I’m trying so hard to grow?”

It can feel like you’ve been buried.

Covered by expectations.
Weighed down by disappointment.
Surrounded by silence, confusion, or pain.

And in those moments, it’s easy to believe the quiet thought:

“I’ve been put here to be forgotten.”

But what if that isn’t the truth?

What if you’re not buried…

What if you’re planted?

Because from the outside, they can look almost identical.

Both are hidden.
Both are surrounded by darkness.
Both require a season where you cannot see what’s happening beneath the surface.

But the difference is in the purpose.

Being Buried vs. Being Planted

Being bu...

You crave expansion. You don’t crave escape. There’s a difference.  Escape says, “I want out.”

Expansion says, “I have more in me than this container allows.” You’re not running from life. You’re feeling confined by it.

What that says about your purpose

You are built to:

• Gather experience.

• Translate experience into wisdom.

• Turn wisdom into words.

• Turn words into activation for others.

That’s teacher energy. Messenger energy.  Builder-of-people energy. And notice something important:

Even in your dream life… you’re still serving. You still want to pour into others.

That means contribution isn’t a burden for you. It’s oxygen.

The truth most people miss

If you would still write and speak even without money… That’s not ambition. That’s calling.

Money removes obligation. Calling remains.

Now the hard question

What’s actually stopping you from:

• Writing more now?

• Speaking now?

• Expanding now (even in small ways)?

Is it:

• Time?

• Stability?

• Fear?

• Being ...

Self-Love Isn’t Ego — It’s Alignment 

Somewhere along the way, self-love got mislabeled.

We were taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. That speaking kindly to ourselves is indulgent. That honoring our needs somehow takes away from others.

So we shrink.

We over give.

We abandon ourselves in the name of being “good.”

And then we wonder why we feel empty.

Let’s be clear: self-love is not ego. 

It’s the foundation of a grounded, honest, and aligned life.

What Ego Really Is 

Ego says: prove your worth. 

Self-love says: you already have it. 

Ego seeks validation, comparison, and control.

It needs to be right, to be seen, to be chosen—often at the expense of authenticity.

Ego is loud. Reactive. Fear-based.

What Self-Love Actually Looks Like 

Self-love is quieter, but far more powerful.

It looks like:

 • Setting boundaries without guilt

 • Saying no without over-explaining

 • Resting without needing to earn it

 • Choosing peace over proving a point

 • Spea...

We’ve all had situations where our emotions got the best of us, whether we’re sitting in traffic, dealing with a difficult driver, or arguing with a loved one.  Often it’s because we didn’t realize what was happening until we were too far down the “emotional train” to change it. We say things we don’t mean and that we’ll later regret, because we haven’t cultivated emotional mastery. And when you don’t master your emotions/mood, you’re not able to identify and handle them until it’s too late.

Frank Outlaw stated, ”Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."  This starts with being mindful of ones emotional health.  Emotions are complex states involving both physical and mental changes that effect our mood and behavior. Emotions are powerful. Your mood determines how you interact with people, how you deal with challenges...

We live in a time when society is wanting to be constantly entertained. Humanity is driven by the next fix to bring them peace, joy, and happiness. When in reality it is up us to find our own joy in each day. It is a choice one makes. Your happiness is your own responsibility.  Don't rely on anyone else to achieve it. This is perhaps the most important realization that you need to make in order to achieve happiness in life and in yourself.

As I coach my clients in this topic, there has been one question that seems to always be asked.  "What does it mean/how does one to be responsible for your own joy?” My answer is the same every time. Taking personal responsibility means not blaming others for your unhappiness. It means figuring out ways in which you can be happy despite others' (negative) behaviors and despite the external circumstances.  This doesn't mean that very happy people blindly accepting whatever is happening to them.  A person who has taken personal responsibility recogniz...

My favorite quote regarding failure comes from Michael Jordan who said: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” I love this quote because it reminds us that no success is possible if we are not willing to experience failure. Failure is simply part of the process of eventually winning. However, Jordan’s quote stops short of something that I know had to be a part of his process. We can’t just accept failure as part of the process. We must be open to the lessons that come from those failures that make it less likely in the future. Failure is inevitable. Learning from it is a choice that is necessary if we are going to fail well and avoid the same mistakes in the future.  

Learning from failure is a conscious decision that requires acknowledging when something has gone wrong and owning one’s part ...

For a lot of us, this has been a rough year, a tiring year, a painful year. Some years carry a heavier toll than others, and this is one of them. Yet in spite of that, or maybe because of it, there’s something you need to do: tell your story. Telling your story, with all its challenges, mistakes, failures, pain, setbacks as well as its joys, successes and victories says something about what it means to be human. Telling your story can even inspire others to take the first step on their path to living their authentic life! I know how tired you are. I know some of you you don’t feel heard. I know some of you might fear you don’t matter. You do!

Everyone’s experiences are unique, and as we share our stories, our perspectives, our take on world building and character development, we actually expand other people’s understanding.Your story matters because it is uniquely your own, and no one can tell it the way you can .No one has your voice. No one has your thoughts. No one has your experie...

It’s so easy to blame people and circumstances for everything that goes wrong in your life?  The truth is, the blame game is no fun to play and there are never any winners. And, perhaps, the biggest loser of all is the one who is doing all the blaming. When we blame others, we lose our power. Remaining stuck in our feelings of anger, resentment or abandonment only hurts us, not the other person. Brene Brown explains that blame has an inverse relationship with accountability.  It literally gets us off the hook.  Makes us feel better.  Gives us a sense of control.  But it has destructive consequences.  

Blame is an example of defensiveness, one of the communication killers, a form of self-protection that places us in a one-up stance (righteousness) or one-down (playing the victim).  This leads to a lack of empathy and understanding in relationships and makes it hard to listen and understand the other person.  

The first step is realizing you are playing the blame game.  Ask yourself th...

Willful blindness, also known as conscious avoidance is a term used in law to describe a situation in which a person seeks to avoid civil or criminal liability for a wrongful act by intentionally keeping themselves unaware of facts that would render them liable or implicated.  Although the term was originally and still is used in legal contexts, the phrase "willful ignorance" has come to mean any situation in which people intentionally turn their attention away from an ethical problem  that is believed to be important by those using the phrase (for instance, because the problem is too disturbing for people to want it dominating their thoughts, or from the knowledge that solving the problem would require extensive effort).

Lately I have observed far too many individuals implementing willful ignorance.  It has left me with an alarming feeling. The biggest threats and dangers we face are the ones we don't see--not because they're secret or invisible, but because we're willfully blind. Th...